An Un-embraced Victory

The smell of burnt blood and flesh made me cough. I cleared my throat. I knew that I had little time until the next swarm of the carnivores come in. I rechecked the battery; it was good enough for the kill. I inwardly laughed at the speculation that earth favored stupider species-a speculation born out of judging the survival of bacteria. But here I was with the superior weapons massacring the blood suckers. And I was an expert in handling the newer range of electronic killer machines. The government as always drugged the communal water, a haven of these carnivores, but to no effect-neither preventive nor direct. We are on our own, each for his family.





Briefly in a leading News daily

Hyderabad: Increasing swamps and slums made the citizens turn to new mosquito killers. Chinese made electric mosquito bats are selling heavily. Some site that the increase in prices of mosquito repellants is one reason for the change.

Two sides of the coin

She had the tattered, broken appearance of a beggar. Indeed she was one. She approached us, my friend started looking for loose change in her purse. But the old woman mumbled something and gripped my arms. Surprised, my friend raised her voice a little and said " Aapko kya chahiye?" (What do you want?) She said, with all breath, " wazifa, wazifa". (pension, pension) Meet Farima Begam, her story not unique but still makes you weep for her helplessness.
Farima begam lives in Muslim chowk of Gulberga. She has seven children, all of whom left her to fend for herself. I was one of the team doing a survey on pension schemes(old age, widow, disability) of Govt. Farima heard someone say we were delivering pensions and hurried to see us. She tells me that she last received the pension during the other Ramzan and never since. Exhaustion and hunger are written all over her fragile body. Karnataka govt. has suspended pensions in Aug, 2007 in view of complaints about bogus cases. After an inquiry which lasted for eight months, the pensions were distributed along with compensation. But, for many like Farima the pension didn't resume and the rejection letter was lost in mail.
For such deserving cases, the officials at Tasildar's office advice to reapply. An application for pension requires passport size photograph, ID proof and Age proof. All of which need money and assistance from a literate. Farima evidently has none and is reduced to begging to fill her stomach.
Now meet a young clerk at the Tasildar's office, who is opposite of typical bollywood's govt. official. He is in charge of one of the pension scheme's and the job description gives you a fair idea of how over-loaded he is. And unlike his corporate peers he gets no overtime money. He strongly feels all these problems are because of over population, less resources and in compassion of people. He wants to pursue higher studies and make policy changes and his voice heard. But his personal and professional responsibilities make it impossible. You can see the fire in his eyes while he talks about the condition of the poorest of the poor and how a little sensitivity from people can change a lot. And did I mention that of all the officials I have met he is the only one who didn't think we are a threat to his job?

The balloon

"Do you wear ribbons on school holidays too?" she was asked.
"Yes."
"Do you have pink ones?"
"Yes."
"Oye! sab log suno...Here is a girl who wears ribbons at home too and they are pink."
Everybody who otherwise never looked at her turned round and laughed. She could feel herself going red.
"No. I don't wear ribbons. I don't have pink ribbons." she shouted.
Nobody heard.

The corner window is a nice place. It has a sill which fits her elbows perfectly. It gives her a clear view of the research institute. A balloon floated above the institute. It was not gay but translucent white. It was like the tear drop on her lashes. She wondered why any grown up at the research institute would buy a dull balloon and abandon it. But it was good to watch it soar. She would lose sight of it when the balloon hid in the clouds. Then suddenly she would spot it. It was like a secret hide and seek game.

Next year in eighth standard when she would learn about weather stations and weather devices, she would know that it was a weather balloon.

Of Bedtimestories

A pleasing land it was;
Of dreamy castles and fair mermaids,
of damsel in distress and her knight in Ferrari,
forgotten by the old, on the lips of the young,
The land of innocent indulgence.

knowledge

Knowledge, how much ever exact it is, does not often lead to appropriate actions because we do not know how to process it properly for reasons completely independent of acquiring the knowledge.
An Illustration:
In our primary school science class we were told that any kind of snake cannot strike or move as fast as our hand. If you compare the reaction rates of snakes and humans, this fact is blindingly evident. Still, how many of us armed with this knowledge can put it into action when encountered by a snake. If one were to process the knowledge logically, one should be able to catch the snake and throw it away before it could strike us. But because of what is called as fear factor we cannot do it.
To surmise, knowledge is interlinked with many non tangible factors and possession of knowledge alone cannot get us any where

willpower

He was 10 feet away from me and talking to a bright eyed man. He knew I was watching him. I did not want to be one of those girls who looks at a man from past, wistfully. But I wanted it to be me and not the bright eyed man getting his attention. He waved and smiled. I waved and smiled back. He excused from the bright eyed man and walked towards me.
Will was not tall, not smooth skinned, not strong built, not blue eyed but he was the handsomest of all. I always wanted him. I always needed him. I always have to have him by my side.
'Hi. How have you been?'
'Hi, Will. I was fine. Where have you been?'
I didn't mean it to come out in an accusatory tone but I do not regret it either.
We talked about old times, time spent in past. we Laughed, smiled, scratched our chins. I told him I hated moving to this new city called present, without him.
After a long pause he said, ' I am always with you, in your voice. I am your voice. I was your voice when you made your decision. I was your voice when you asked yourself to hold on.'
He was not assuring me, he just stated the words as if anything contrary is an alien concept.
He kissed my hand and walked towards a weepy eyed woman.
Though I know he is right and though I feel his voice in me, I felt I needed Mr. Will Power. I heard the rumors. My next home, future land, has unknown demons.